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+++ title = "Farewell" date = 2020-12-23 draft = false +++
I must stress first and completely that if you are reading this, none of this is remotely your fault in any way and please try your best not to blame yourself at all.
My thoughts are really far to disorganized and scattered right now to really figure out, much less describe in words, why it is that I am ultimately even having this crisis in the first place. What I do know is that I am in pain, I am confused, I can not really think straight, and I am scared. I am sorry for all of the pain and complication this will cause everyone, but I honestly can not really deal with myself any longer. This happens over and over and it gets worse every single time. My attachment to reality is so inconsistent and discontinuous and confusing now anyway that I honestly have a hard time convincing myself that this is not just some stupid dream.
Gale, you are such an amazing person, still not really sure how you are a real human that exists. You have spent so much of your own time and energy looking out for and protecting me and I really do apreciate it. I am sorry for it ultimately not paying off.
Ash, I am sorry to be putting you through this stuppid shit again and I know that it will probably be so much worse with me than it was with our dad. Please try your hardest to stay strong and keep being such an amazing and cool and talented person. Take care of Ibsen and Willow.
Lynn you are the most important person to me and I honestly can not believe you put up with me this long, but you did. I know you have some of the parts of me, so please be careful. Take care of Kloey.
I love all of you so much.
Farewell,
Hazel