Farewell
+2020-12-23
+ + + +I must stress first and completely that if you are reading this, none of this is +remotely your fault in any way and please try your best not to blame yourself +at all.
+My thoughts are really far to disorganized and scattered right now to really +figure out, much less describe in words, why it is that I am ultimately even +having this crisis in the first place. What I do know is that I am in pain, I am +confused, I can not really think straight, and I am scared. I am sorry for all +of the pain and complication this will cause everyone, but I honestly can not +really deal with myself any longer. This happens over and over and it gets worse +every single time. My attachment to reality is so inconsistent and discontinuous +and confusing now anyway that I honestly have a hard time convincing myself that +this is not just some stupid dream.
+Gale, you are such an amazing person, still not really sure how you are a real +human that exists. You have spent so much of your own time and energy looking +out for and protecting me and I really do apreciate it. I am sorry for it +ultimately not paying off.
+Ash, I am sorry to be putting you through this stuppid shit again and I know +that it will probably be so much worse with me than it was with our dad. +Please try your hardest to stay strong and keep being such an amazing and cool +and talented person. Take care of Ibsen and Willow.
+Lynn you are the most important person to me and I honestly can not believe +you put up with me this long, but you did. +I know you have some of the parts of me, so please be careful. +Take care of Kloey.
+I love all of you so much.
+Farewell,
+++ + + +Hazel
+